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"Even when he's venting to you, your contributions can put him on the defensive," explains Leslie Beth Wish, Ed D, a Florida-based psychologist and licensed clinical social worker.

That's why you should tread carefully with your in-laws and your husband's dearest friends.

The tendency to place blame on the other spouse for their marital problems ends when both spouses understand and embrace the idea that as each one makes changes for the better, they also change the environment of the marriage.

Instead of reacting to negative situations, each spouse has the opportunity to make better behavior choices.

", Elizabeth Bernstein explores temporary separations as a way for couples to step back from their faltering relationships in order to re-evaluate them.

(The article focuses on marriages, but I think it applies just as well to any committed relationship.) Rather than a preliminary step to the foregone conclusion of divorce, these temporary separations, planned out carefully between partners for a predetermined length of time and with guidelines regarding finances and child care, provide a cooling-off period with the added benefit of allowing the partners to see what life will be like without each other.




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